The quickest way to form a suggestion, where thoughts commence with the word shouldn’t, is to ruminate about things you don’t want or things you don’t like. One thought concerning what you don’t want leads to corresponding ideas. One notion concerning what you don’t want, can cause things that you don’t like to enter your mind. Before you know it, you are reasoning about what you shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, we can convert a “should” thought into “shouldn’t” thinking.

To illustrate this let me tell you about a friend of ours. This friend had been in business for himself and doing quite well, but one day business began to decline. He was no longer producing the income that he felt he needed. After getting a job, to supplement his income, his business declined even further. Things are going the way he had projected – he doesn’t like the job. He wants to try to rebuild his business, because he is longing to do what he enjoys doing. He is hesitant to take action, because of his previous financial difficulties.

Our friend stopped by not long ago, for a visit. As we talked about what is happening in our lives, I learned about what was missing in his life. It was three days before Christmas, and we began talking about our holiday intentions. After asking him about his Christmas plans, he confessed to be in a mood this year – he was bah humbug. Then I asked the ultimate question, “Why?”

His explanations told me everything I needed, to understand. “I am doing a job I don’t like doing.” “I hope to get back to my own business, but there is no money in it.” He offered plenty of reasons why he shouldn’t return to his business. My friend seemed convinced that he was unable make his business work. Even though other people in that business are making plenty of money, he failed to see that he could do it too. His explanations for the failing business are a reality to him, but not the proven truth.

Our friend keeps telling himself that he should give the business another chance. He quickly rejects the idea, by thinking about adverse prospects. “I don’t want things to be the way they were before.” “I don’t want the financial hardship.” “I don’t like the possibility of it turning out badly.” “I should just forget the idea, altogether,” was his conclusion.

Can you see that his “should” thought about going back into business for himself, processed around in his mind until it became after thought? He actually commenced to think that he shouldn’t go back into business. What he intended, transformed into what he didn’t want – he talked to himself, while conversing with me, about all the things he didn’t want. He prodded the idea of trying the business one more time, out of his mind. As he talked, he became more determined to keep doing what he was telling himself that he shouldn’t do; endure in the employment he disliked and recommence abandoning his dream. Do you recognize how his thought transformed?

The great thing is that we can just as easily talk to ourselves and end up doing what we want to do. If we think of what we want, we will not end up thinking about all the things we shouldn’t do. When you don’t want something, you have the option of thinking about what you do want. Actually, reversing the outcome, generating “should” thinking in contrast to “shouldn’t” thoughts. When our friend decides to change his thinking, his determination will proceed. His mind will become clear when his focus is decisive. “I want to stop working at the job I am in now.” “I want to rebuild my business.” “I can build the income to meet my needs, as others have.” By focusing on the things, he wants to happen; he would become engaged in the idea. By visualizing the outcome in a rewarding manner, he can literally accept the idea instead of rejecting it.

How can the thought, “I shouldn’t” help us? It can alert us that we are focusing on an undesirable outcome, and remind us to adjust our point of view. Just as with our friend in the paragraphs above, you too can transpose what you think. You can choose to think about what you want, or what you don’t want. It is common to ponder in both directions simultaneously, i.e. “I do want to get back into my own business, but I don’t want it to be how it was before”. You are the person, who chooses what to believe. The focus you select will determine the outcome; understanding this helps us appreciate that we do indeed have complete power over our thoughts and emotions – we are the master of our destiny.