I had an interesting talk with a client once about judgment and the influence that it had on their life. It really got me thinking – and it doesn’t take much to get me thinking. The discussion we had headed toward the concepts of Love versus Judgment.
Through this discussion I felt that we came to some powerful insights, for them and for me. Perhaps the most powerful insight was the conclusion that Love is the opposite of Judgment. Let me help explain how we came to this conclusion, and why it is important.
For many of us, we have been taught that the opposite of love is hate.
The more that I have come to understand emotions, I would have to disagree with this long held belief. I see love and hate, back to back to each other at times, looking in different directions, and if love turned to hate to embrace it, hate would still need to look away. I see that we often feel hatred to protect us from the fear of not feeling lovable and/or from seeing our own flaws and inadequacies that are based in our judgments and others which often leave us feeling unloved. This is not opposite, Hate is just protective.
So just how is Love the opposite of Judgment: Let me count the ways…
We live in a world that requires both love and judgment, to some degree, but in my impression, too many corners of our world have settled on judgment as the way to truth, however, when if we really feel deep down inside, Love feels so much more true. Of all the times that I have heard that “Love is blind,” I have seen that many more times when “Judgment is blind” and feeds hate, ignorance, prejudice…
Even in the eyes of absolute truth, hate can close its eyes and rely on previous judgments to maintain its view.
The irony is that billions of us have chosen a religion and/or spiritual path to follow for supreme guidance. We look to our “supreme being” who we have determined to be the cornerstone of our beliefs to help us define our direction, assist with our moral compass and serve as a model of our life aspirations. The various prophets of religions throughout history consistently taught us to love one another and not to judge.
Unfortunately, our religions are often based in judgment and the ideas of right and wrong, good and bad, strong and weak. I ask you, is this the definition of love that any of our conceptions of God would wish for us to engage in? Some may think yes. With this in mind, even our own definitions of our creator are based in judgment, not love.
Just like we have light and dark, hot and cold, night and day, we need opposing constructs.
Quantum Physics supports that the universe would not exist without them at a physical level. Opposites do not have to be bad or wrong. I believe that we are here to find our own truths in balance with others’. These truths may be ever evolving, and don’t have to be based in judgment, but instead, many points of observation. As for the discussion of judgment versus observation, I will save that discussion for another day.
After all, “To err (in judgment) is human…To love, divine. While the act of judging may be a human predisposition, I would ask that we challenge ourselves to aspire to a higher standard. We may not be perfect, but we can aspire to perfection. Rather than judge, choose to observe, grow, evolve and love.