When you have an impossible manager, quit? Sometimes that’s impossible. Here are ten things to consider before you make your move.

1. Get a coach

In order to problem-solve effectively, it’s crucial to view the situation objectively, which you aren’t in a position to do. No one is. Working with a coach can help you clarify what’s going on, and come up with strategies for dealing with it. You’ll learn more about yourself, and how to deal with others. That’s a win-win. Don’t leave the situation without learning from it.

2. The company culture

This isn’t what’s in the P&P manual (which is about legal) it’s about how the place really runs. If the norm is hostility and incompetence, you won’t be changing it, and you can count on it getting worse. Should your particular manager leave, another one similar will be hired.

3. Everything else is excellent

This I usually hear from people new to a job, because you can count on things getting worse with time, not better. If there’s something important or meaningful you’re getting out of the job, stay, but don’t get lulled in to staying forever. It will negatively impact your ability to function at top-form eventually.

4. Your outlook

Your attitude can always improve a situation. Just don’t think you can change the personality or skills of the manager, or the culture of the company that allows this. Work with your coach, and surround yourself with positive people. Jobs and managers come and go. The only disastrous outcome would be for you to become cynical and pessimistic about yourself, life, or people in general. 

5. Are you in the loop?

Sometimes your colleagues can make up for a bad manager. After all, there’s power in numbers. If you have a core group that can work around the situation, you’ll have support. However, expect the behavior of the manager to get worse as he or she tries to compensate for perceived loss of power.

6. Age and career potential of the manager

Use your gut instincts to evaluate every new situation you move into. Quick and accurate reality-testing is an EQ competency.

Common sense dictates if they’re new and young, they may not make it. Actually these days anyone “new” may not make it. If they have some experience under their belt and seem interested in promoting themselves, they’ll probably be moving on and up. If they are middle-aged, have been there a while, and are dug in like a tick, consider they’ll endure and you will not. Your gut feelings can tell you who is on-the-move and who has moved in to stay. You can also tell how important this particular manager is to those above him and her. If they’re liked by superiors, should there be a confrontation, they’ll be staying, you’ll be leaving.

Pay attention to things like this. It will make a difference in your career.

7. Life skills

Always be working on your personal and professional development. Just as you acquire degrees, skills and expertise in your field, you should be developing your emotional intelligence. Such competencies as stress management, leadership, interpersonal skills, quick and accurate reality-testing, communication skills, resilience and flexibility will help you in this situation, as well as any other you face. Learning EQ has long-term positive results. Most clients recognize positive outcomes immediately in their lives.

8. Guard your health – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
 
Working in an intolerable or barely tolerable situation can affect your health – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. You’ll be more stressed, more likely to take sick days, and more likely to become negative and pessimistic. Coaching can help bolster you at this time. Use your own social support network as well and practice a good overall wellness regime. They’re not taking care of you, so take care of yourself.

9. Get out of it the good things there to be gotten

An “impossible” manager can range from impossible, to difficult, to challenging, to possible. You have some leverage there in your own attitude and EQ. If there are things making the job worth keeping, focus on those. Work on getting along with the manager well enough. Don’t exaggerate the person’s effect on you. Some emotional strain is probably more to be tolerated than a manager who is impacting your ability to function, learn and increase the skills you need to advance your own career.

10. Be mindful if this is a pattern

If this is the last in a long series of impossible managers, it’s you. If you transfer to another department or job, and the same situation occurs, it’s you. If you also have an impossible spouse, kids and friends, it’s you. Get coaching!

Susan Dunn

Susan Dunn, MA, Relationship & EQ Coach, susandunn Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks for your personal and professional development Susan is the author of "Midlife Dating Survival Manual" for women. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information and free ezine.

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