After running from the emotional and psychological trauma of partying, series dating, drinking, self destructive activity in general I had a crash and burn quite some time ago. I then went home to my parents hibernated and isolated myself from society for nearly 3 months. I literally lost my mind until I had nothing to think about anymore. I only had myself to deal with, my real self, and what was happening on the inside. I meditated and I went through various ranges of emotions... crying, screaming, blacking out, just all true unrestricted self expressions as well as hallucinations. It's because of this that I came to many self realizations! I thank goodness my parents were understanding and supportive during this time, anyone else would have called the bug house.
It was something very graphic and real and when I came out of it I was completely disconnected from the physical world... Everything was different, my perception on everything and everyone was shockingly new, and I was able to view the world through very new eyes. I also noticed that I was using what came from inside to sense everything, I was feeling and sensing so much more than thinking and that was tough in the beginning for me. It's as if I had a rebirth here on this Earth.
My enlightenment enabled me to get out of the past and future and just enjoy and live the now in life. I changed my lifestyle drastically and started nurturing myself as if I were my own mother! I forgot about all of my past pain and suffering! I learned forgiveness, I detoxified my life, learned how to add balance, and LET EGO GO!
I have learned to open up and view the world and my surroundings through virgin eyes. The eyes that I once had as an unbiased child! My health is now so much better and my mental clarity is unbelievably sharp!
I'm more appreciative of the delicacy of abstract life, because the physical doesn't mean much of anything to me anymore, I'm just more knowledgeable and I feel a great sense of freedom because of it, but it's a great responsibility at the same time, so I never take all of this with a grain of salt. I never had anyone to give me guidance of how to sanely handle the overwhelming gift, yet I give my gift to others and forget myself while I am aiding them, as not to burden them with what I'm going through. I have found my life purpose and am grateful to be walking the path!