Mitch McCrimmon has over 30 years experience in executive assessment and coaching. He obtained a Ph.D. in Philosophy from the University of Western Ontario in 1975. His latest book is Burn! 7 Leadership Myths in Ashes. For more information, see http://www.leadersdirect.com How happy would you be if only you could win the lottery? This fantasy is universal because so many people are unhappy, dissatisfied with their lot in life.
But why do you focus on what you haven’t got rather than on things you could feel happy about? Why waste your life dreaming about winning a pile of money when you have already won an infinitely more valuable lottery prize: You were born. Can you imagine what you would have missed if you had never been born? No doubt some people say they would prefer not to have been born. But life can be viewed as a great opportunity to make whatever we can out of it. No matter what the present is like, we can choose to dwell on how horrible it all is or we can choose to think about all the small things that have made us happy throughout our lives.
Try thinking of your life as a dream holiday. Suppose you won the most fantastic, luxurious 2 week holiday you can imagine. Would you let yourself enjoy only the first week of your holiday and then spend the second week feeling sorry for yourself because your holiday had to come to an end soon? This is what people in the second half of life do. They get increasingly grumpy because their time is running short but they spoil half their lives by letting themselves feel this way.
Every morning when you wake up, try telling yourself that your dream holiday has just been extended by another day. You have won the lottery all over again. Tell yourself how lucky you are to have whatever you have and make up your mind to enjoy your day. Try to make it a special day, have some fun and make someone close to you feel good.
You might object: ‘’My life is no dream. In fact, it’s crap!’’ Someone who feels this way is likely to add: ‘’If you look at life objectively, it’s no picnic. We struggle along for a few miserable years only to get sick, old and die. Where is the fun in that!’’ The truth is that it is not possible to look at life ‘’objectively.’’ How we view life is totally and utterly a matter of attitude. We can all think of people who are worse off than we are who are happy in spite of their limitations or setbacks.
The fascinating question here, therefore, is why do so many people choose to maintain such a negative attitude toward their lives? A tendency to be dissatisfied with the present and to take for granted the good progress we have made has evolutionary value. We wouldn’t keep striving to improve our lot otherwise.
But excessive dissatisfaction is self-defeating. Here are a few reasons why this happens:
So, what can you do to change your attitude toward your
life? Here are a few suggestions: