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						<title><![CDATA[AccomplishLife - Self Help - Blogs]]></title>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Making Failure Count:  Take Inventory]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/168/Making-Failure-Count--Take-Inventory.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[Making Failure Count:&#160; Taking Inventoryby Michele AikensWhen I left my job as publisher of a national women&#39;s magazine, it marked the end of a ten-year period where I worked for a large ministry.&#160; There was no severance package, no generous golden parachute, no opportunity for unemployment compensation &#40;by the end of the tenure I had been working at a &#34;salary&#34; that would have left little over were I not a 1099 employee&#41;.&#160; I left the job-church bitter and questioning God&#39;s direction of me there, the beginning success and resultant shut down of the magazine.&#160; It was a dark period for me spiritually and emotionally and I felt alone in attempting to deal with my struggle.What angered me the most was the feeling of having wasted a decade of my life in what I believed to be the service of God.&#160; During the first five years when I served as Director of Christian Education, I saw my spirituality slip from the place where I could literally ask God a question and get an answer, to where I felt I was groping in the dark for Him.&#160; I groped personally while I implemented programs that helped many grow in their own faith -- it was a contradiction on an ironic level.&#160; The following five years were spent putting together a magazine that got national attention, but lackluster support from the church that birthed it.&#160; In spite of the response, I ignored the obvious signs: the salary cuts, the ongoing crisis management, the two other eliminated businesses under our parent company&#39;s umbrella -- you know, THE SIGNS.&#160; I ignored the signs because I thought I was showing faith -- that is my fault, not the company&#39;s or the ministry&#39;s.&#160; I believed I was operating according to God&#39;s plan.And in spite of the failure of the magazine, I still may have been.What prompts this latest musing is you.&#160; It is the dawning of a new year, full of possibilities, that you won&#39;t see if you focus on what looks like a failure.&#160; In a place where we may appear to have failed, the bitterness and anger must be left behind or we will remain stuck in a place of hopeless regret.&#160; You won&#39;t move forward if you keep focusing on the part of the experience that feels like failure.&#160; Like me, your initial response might be, &#34;I came out of the experience empty -- I have nothing.&#34;&#160; If you will look from another perspective, however, you may be surprised at what you actually have in your heart, and your hand, if you choose to use it.&#160; I didn&#39;t come away with money, but I did get something that will serve me much greater in the future:&#160; I have knowledge that I could only have gotten through the process of the last ten years.&#160; As you ponder this year and what you want to do next, you may be wrestling with some additional challenges.&#160; In spite of looking desperately for work, you didn&#39;t find a job last year...or in spite of your best efforts a relationship failed, a foreclosure happened, or a loved one died.&#160; I challenge you to faithfully open the cupboards of your heart and Take Inventory.&#160; Ask God to show you what you came away from the experience with, and how you can use that to make someone&#39;s life better.&#160; If we believe in the Sovereignty of God &#40;and I do&#41;, then what appears to be a failure did not go unnoticed by The Almighty.&#160; What do you have now that you didn&#39;t have before &#39;the fail&#39;&#63;&#160; Use that knowledge you have gained to propel you forward.&#160; Do you want to know what that looks like&#63;Following is a partial list of some lessons that a lifelong church girl learned over the past ten years:I learned:That pastors and church leaders are subject to the same emotional struggles as everyone else, and those struggles tend to be magnified in the eyes of the people because of their position.That church staffers are a complex blend of ego, anointing and gifting that on a good day reflect Christ and on a bad day reflect us.That anointed leaders are given the ability by God to identify who is best suited for jobs under their area of influence if they ask Him.&#160; This means you don&#39;t have to reward the person who hangs around with a ministry position if he or she is not anointed to do that particular job.That love can also be expressed through honest confrontation.That love really does hide a multitude of sins.That Jesus&#39; ministers are His responsibility; He is the one who calls and sets them in The Body, so I don&#39;t get to judge them as people....but I do have a responsibility to covenant relationships to hold up the mirror of God&#39;s Word to both myself and my brothers and sisters whose actions may cause harm to themselves, others, or to the cause of Christ.Remember Jesus words to the disciples in John 6:12, &#34;Gather up the pieces that are left over.&#160; Let nothing be wasted.&#34;Even the experience of what seems like a failure today isn&#39;t wasted if we trust God who can make it all count.Change a life. . . .Michele  ]]></description>
					  <author>Michele Aikens</author>
					  <pubDate>Fri, 07 Jan 2011 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[The Law of Attraction]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/165/The-Law-of-Attraction.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[ In the book, &#8220;The Secret&#8221; the Authors tell us a lot about what they
call the &#8220;Law of Attraction&#8221;. The law of attraction or whatever you
want to call it does work, but only if you take action. They tell us in
the book that action may be required and that the way will reveal
itself. So how do we take advantage of their idea&#63; Can we simply sit in
our living rooms and wait for the Universe to deliver our dreams and
the things we hope for&#63;]]></description>
					  <author>Sandra Hendricks</author>
					  <pubDate>Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[What We Tell Ourselves Matters]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/163/What-We-Tell-Ourselves-Matters.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[The most important person that you will ever talk with is you.&#160; What you tell yourself repeatedly will seep into your subconscious and affect your life!&#160; Saying something with certainty or powerful emotion will equally affect you.&#160; Consequently, it is essential that you pay close attention to what you tell yourself.We knew of a person that constantly utilized the word hate while expressing her thoughts to others.&#160; This woman would say things to others, using the word, &#8220;hate,&#8221; flippantly.&#160; Each time she used this word the bitterness of its use stung, closing up her heart.&#160; Although she expressed herself to another, she at the same time told herself these things.&#160; In fact, she would merely voice thoughts that she had already impressed upon her subconscious.&#160; Whatever we place on the inside comes out.Science has deduced that we have anywhere from 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts per day.&#160; We breathe approximately 24,000 times a day.&#160; Now that is numerous thoughts per breath!&#160; We can merely think one thought at a time; with each breath, we have a lot of activity going on within our minds every minute of every day.&#160; Many of these thoughts are simple, useful, and necessary.&#160; However, when we experience an inner conflict, we increase our massive thought process, which can affect our peace.We all want to be happy and lead stress free lives.&#160; A certain amount of stress is healthy, like physical exercise; mental and emotional stress is unhealthy.&#160; This type of stress is a result of our negative thinking and imaging, resulting in negative inner dialogue.&#160; Every moment that we look at or ruminate about what we &#8220;don&#8217;t want&#34;, we produce negative energy.&#160; That energy then pulls more like energy toward us.&#160; This energy will increase, the accompanied feelings, as our negative thinking increases.To experience success, feeling good is necessary; we must feel good if we want to have the first rate things that life has to offer.&#160;&#160; It is impossible to feel like doing nothing while thinking about what you desire!&#160; When you conceive of what you want, you get excited, and you feel excellent.&#160; Positive change energizes the mind and body.&#160; Therefore, when you concentrate on things you want to have, or what you want to accomplish, you experience joy.&#160; Joyful feelings attract more joyous thoughts and so forth &#40;like attracts like&#41;. 
]]></description>
					  <author>Sandra Hendricks</author>
					  <pubDate>Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Manifesting Your Best]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/162/Manifesting-Your-Best.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[
What is your greatest strength? Our greatest strength can cause significant heartaches. We all share the same qualities, but there is one predominate quality in each of us. Because our greatest strength causes us so many problems, we try to hide it, rather than allowing it to work for us. What is your greatest gift?
Here are a few of the strengths that can cause us problems: 

Ambition
Compassion
Listening
Motivation
Persistence
Thinking
Tolerance
Looking at the list above, you might wonder, how can any of these qualities cause us problems, and why would we try to hide them. Let&#8217;s consider the strength of being a good listener. Being a good listener is a great quality, once it is developed. Suppose we listen and do not speak up when necessary. How about the quality of giving: If we are giving and expect nothing in return, we have developed this gift. If we give and become resentful because our giving is unappreciated, it is working against us.
People with the gift of patience may feel more impatient than most and become convinced that they are not patient. A person who has failed many times may believe that they are not ambitious enough. What appears to be our biggest downfall in life can become our greatest asset. What makes us feel the most inadequate and vulnerable, is often our greatest quality, misunderstood.
Focus on what you want, and then utilize your greatest strength, by developing your best quality. As you develop your predominate quality, you develop lesser qualities, making anything possible!]]></description>
					  <author>Sandra Hendricks</author>
					  <pubDate>Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[My Place in a Changing World]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/161/My-Place-in-a-Changing-World.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[My Place in a Changing World from Sandra Hendricks. ]]></description>
					  <author>Sandra Hendricks</author>
					  <pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Experience is not What Happens to You]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/160/Experience-is-not-What-Happens-to-You.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[
&#8220;Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.&#8221; &#8211; Aldous Huxley &#8211; 



What are we really learning from the things that happen to us and the so called mistakes we make&#63; We can learn from both, the good and the bad things that happen in our lives, but I believe there are reasons why things happen &#8211; there are no mistakes, but an opportunity to learn. If we are not attentive to our thinking, when things happen to us, we could determine what we don&#8217;t want to transpire, but leave little room for change, regarding our actions &#8211; to do same thing, the same way, while expecting different results, is a form of insanity.

In the summer of 1970, after begging for weeks to visit my aunt and uncle, the day had finally arrived! It would be the time of my life.
My cousins were teenagers, and busy with activities of their own. It wasn&#8217;t long before I began missing my little brothers &#8211; I missed having someone to play with. After telling my aunt that I wanted to go home, she said, &#8220;You can ride Pam&#8217;s bike if you want to. Just stay on our street.&#8221;
As I pulled the big bike out of the garage, a thrill welled up inside me. I had never been on a bike like this one. As I climbed onto the big blue bike, I felt big too. I had to push one peddle down at a time. As I, pressed one peddle down the other peddle came up, meeting my other foot. I rode to the end of the street and turned around at the Burger King. A funny thing happened after I turned around.
I looked down at the pavement and noticed that the road was moving beneath me just like it did when I looked down from our car. It was cool! Fascinated by this, I began to peddle faster and faster and faster. The fascination grew stronger the faster I peddled. Suddenly, I experienced a new sensation! To my dismay, I had hit a parked car. Climbing down from the hood of the car, feeling embarrassed, I began looking around hoping no one had seen me.
After climbing back onto the big bike I began peddling very slowly, thinking that I needed to watch where I was going. My thoughts expanded to the idea of running into a moving vehicle and determination to be careful, formed. Keeping my eyes on what was ahead I safely reached my aunt&#8217;s house and turned around, heading back to the Burger King. As I peddled my mind stayed on the task, and passing by the car reminded me to pay attention.

Smooth going. I turned around at the Burger King and unknowingly, my eyes focused on the road again. I began peddling faster and faster until&#8230;Bang! I was climbing back down from that same-parked car, looking and hoping that no one had noticed. After picking Pam&#8217;s bike up once again, I began thinking in terms of &#8220;what if&#8221;. &#8220;What if that had been a moving vehicle&#63;&#8221; &#8220;What if I scratched their car&#63;&#8221; &#8220;What if they were watching me&#63;&#8221; Nearing my aunt&#8217;s house, I once again told myself that I needed to keep my eyes off the road and watch where I was going. I turned around and headed back to the Burger King, whistling as I rode along.
They say that the third time is the charm. I turned around at the Burger King and headed toward my destination. Now you might think that my destination was my aunt&#8217;s house, but apparently it was that parked car. Boom&#8230;I was once again climbing down from the hood realizing that I had been watching the road go by underneath me! This time I began to think differently. Along with my previous &#8220;what if&#8221; thoughts, I added another one. When I reached my aunt&#8217;s house, I parked the bike and went inside. The thought I &#8220;should&#8221; stop riding this bike, prompted me to park it.
Looking back, I laugh each time I think of the people who owned the car. Imagine the old person inside after he sees me climb down the first time, then the second. I can just picture it, &#8220;Hey Judy. Come watch this. Wait, wait&#8230;here she comes.&#8221;
The incident helped me see what I didn&#8217;t want to happen, but what did I learn&#63; I learned that there is a big difference in watching where you are going and keeping your eyes on the road; I learned that I could imagine possibilities and probabilities; mostly though, I learned that it is humiliating to hit a parked car, and it hurts too.
The great thing about what we go through &#8211; good or bad &#8211; is that with some thought, we can gain an understanding of the way our minds work for us, and at times, against us &#8211; even at the age of eight, I understood the danger of not being able to stay disciplined, and made the right decision to park the bike. In addition, I understand now, that for me, after I try something three times, if it&#8217;s not working, it&#8217;s time to try a new approach.]]></description>
					  <author>Sandra Hendricks</author>
					  <pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Recover from Identity Theft]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/159/Recover-from-Identity-Theft.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[
Since you can&#8217;t protect yourself 100% from identity theft, make sure that you Monitor the Signs! Heading into a new year people make many resolutions that they may or make not stick with, but protecting your identity should always be a top priority. Here are three effective tips to help discover and recover quickly if you become the victim of identity theft:

Create a Dossier &#8211; A dossier is a collection of documents that are stored in a fire-safe and that you regularly review and update. It is a paper summary of your identity as the outside world sees it &#40;businesses, organizations and governments&#41;. It is made up of several key documents: your credit report, bank and credit card statements, Social Security statement, wallet photocopies and your password list. 
Virtually any of your vital documents could be included in your dossier as well &#40;birth certificates, marriage licenses, etc.&#41;. A dossier is a place where you can quickly access a complete record of your vital information in case your identity is stolen and you will have the necessary account and phone numbers at hand to cancel credit cards, bank accounts and to file credit disputes. And you can do it quickly.

Order and Monitor Your Credit Report and Set up regular calendar reminders every 4 months for your next Credit Report. A credit report is a historical record of how you pay off money you borrow from others. There are currently three main credit bureaus in the United States&#8212;Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. 
Credit bureaus track your credit history, generate credit scores and produce credit reports&#8212;all for sale to other businesses. If you own a home, have a credit card, lease a car, or apply for or use credit of any sort, this information is reported to one, two or all three of these credit bureaus. In addition, they collect information on how timely you pay your bills, how often you are tardy, how frequently your credit is checked by companies and any changes of address, employment, or personal information. 
By monitoring these reports closely, you will know when someone else is using your credit file to their benefit. If an identity thief opens a new credit card or loan on your Social Security number, you will see it on your report. The quicker you spot the problem, the less trouble it will cause. You can also sign up for an Identity Monitoring Service and Identity Theft Insurance.

Set up Account Alerts bank, credit card and investment accounts and make sure you check your monthly statements for any suspicious activity. Account alerts automatically notify you by email or text message &#40;to your cell phone&#41; when a transaction is made on your account. For example, if you make a purchase on your credit card, it will automatically send you an alert detailing how much was spent, where you spent it, and on what date. They will also alert you when a payment is due or is not received on time or when private information is changed on the account &#40;often a sign of fraud&#41;. Alerts are a simple way to keep track of credit card usage, bank transfers, low account balances, investment moves and a handful of other helpful tasks without doing any extra work.
These three simple changes make a world of difference when it comes to protecting your Identity. Early detection will save you time and money in the long run. Make it a priority to protect your identity in 2010 for a safe, successful and headache free year!]]></description>
					  <author>John Sileo</author>
					  <pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Which Way To Truth?]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/157/Which-Way-To-Truth.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[Love versus Judgment: Which Way To Truth?I had an interesting talk with a client once about judgment and the influence that it had on their life. It really got me thinking &#8211; and it doesn&#8217;t take much to get me thinking. The discussion we had headed toward the concepts of Love versus Judgment. Through this discussion I felt that we came to some powerful insights, for them and for me. Perhaps the most powerful insight was the conclusion that Love is the opposite of Judgment. Let me help explain how we came to this conclusion, and why it is important. For many of us, we have been taught that the opposite of love is hate. The more that I have come to understand emotions, I would have to disagree with this long held belief. I see love and hate, back to back to each other at times, looking in different directions, and if love turned to hate to embrace it, hate would still need to look away. I see that we often feel hatred to protect us from the fear of not feeling lovable and/or from seeing our own flaws and inadequacies that are based in our judgments and others which often leave us feeling unloved. This is not opposite, Hate is just protective.So just how is Love the opposite of Judgment: Let me count the ways&#8230; 

Love is an emotion. In its purest form, love is the most powerful emotion that exists. It is the light that shines through all darkness to every corner of our universe. Judgment, on the other hand is devoid of emotion. In its purest form, it is pure logic and is extremely powerful to refute. Judgment can, however, evoke emotions in others, because of the strength or lack of strength in the logic used to support any judgment. However, regardless of the emotions that one feels, judgment is still not an emotion. 
The power of love can draw even the most distant people together. Love traverses race, religion, age, gender, income, political affiliation &#8211; there is almost nothing that love cannot draw together. We can see the power of love in the most unlikely of marriages and friendships. Judgment, on the other hand, almost always serves the purpose to separate and categorize. It often contributes to creating hierarchies and divisions in families, neighborhoods, politics, nations and religions. Judgment often justifies war and genocide. Even when it does serve to draw some people together, it still serves to separate others. 
Love often lacks objectivity and in its truest form is unconditional. It neither evaluates nor questions -- it just is. The very nature of Judgment is conditional. It requires questions and answers, and while one would hope it is based in truth, it often is not. 
Love often hits us like a ton of bricks. There is not much that is subtle about it. Like a teen crush or a running, jumping hug from your child, love can knock you off your feet. There are times that love can sneak up on us, but not very often. Judgment is often very subtle, and many of us do not realize when we have formed judgments, whether those judgments are fair or not. Judgment is tied to our opinions and world views, and while sometimes we hold onto some judgments as truth, they are often based in opinion, conjecture, rationalization and justification. The subtleness of these influences often lead to arrogance and tease us into defining a false truth. Propaganda is often uses pieces of truth combined with subtle misinformation to feed false judgments. 
Love does not consist of stratifications. Judgment often depends on stratification. The person judging is often seen as or wants to be seen as having a higher status than the person being judged. The need to be seen as or consider oneself as above or below others feeds this stratification and further judgment. 
We live in a world that requires both love and judgment, to some degree, but in my impression, too many corners of our world have settled on judgment as the way to truth, however, when if we really feel deep down inside, Love feels so much more true. Of all the times that I have heard that &#8220;Love is blind,&#8221; I have seen that many more times when &#8220;Judgment is blind&#8221; and feeds hate, ignorance, prejudice&#8230; Even in the eyes of absolute truth, hate can close its eyes and rely on previous judgments to maintain its view.&#160;&#160;The irony is that billions of us have chosen a religion and/or spiritual path to follow for supreme guidance. We look to our &#8220;supreme being&#8221; who we have determined to be the cornerstone of our beliefs to help us define our direction, assist with our moral compass and serve as a model of our life aspirations. The various prophets of religions throughout history consistently taught us to love one another and not to judge. Unfortunately, our religions are often based in judgment and the ideas of right and wrong, good and bad, strong and weak. I ask you, is this the definition of love that any of our conceptions of God would wish for us to engage in? Some may think yes. With this in mind, even our own definitions of our creator are based in judgment, not love. Just like we have light and dark, hot and cold, night and day, we need opposing&#160; constructs. Quantum Physics supports that the universe would not exist without them at a physical level. Opposites do not have to be bad or wrong. I believe that we are here to find our own truths in balance with others&#8217;. These truths may be ever evolving, and don&#8217;t have to be based in judgment, but instead, many points of observation. As for the discussion of judgment versus observation, I will save that discussion for another day.
After all, &#8220;To err (in judgment) is human&#8230;To love, divine. While the act of judging may be a human predisposition, I would ask that we challenge ourselves to aspire to a higher standard. We may not be perfect, but we can aspire to perfection. Rather than judge, choose to observe, grow, evolve and love.]]></description>
					  <author>Erik Fisher, PhD.</author>
					  <pubDate>Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 MST</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Facebook Safety]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/154/Facebook-Safety.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[Facebook safety has a direct correlation to your business&#8217;s bottom line. Facebook, and social media sites in general, are in an awkward stage between infancy and adulthood - mature in some ways, helpless in others. On the darker side of sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, scammers and identity thieves are drooling at the sight of this unchecked data playground. In contrast, most social networkers are myopically intoxicated with all the friendships they are creating and renewing.There is no denying that Facebook and other social media sites have a very luring appeal.&#160; You can sit in the comfort of your own home and suddenly have a thriving social life.&#160; You can look up old friends, make new ones, build business relationships and create a profile for yourself that highlights only your talents and adventures while conveniently leaving out all your flaws and troubles.&#160; It is easy to see why Facebook has acquired over 200 million users worldwide in just over five years. Which is why Facebook safety is still so immature: Facebook&#8217;s interface and functionality has grown faster than security can keep up.&#160;Unfortunately, most people dive head first into this world of social connectedness without thinking through the ramifications of all the personal information that is now traveling at warp speed through cyberspace.&#160; It&#8217;s like being served a delicious new drink at a party, one that you can&#8217;t possibly resist because it is so fun and tempting and everyone is having one.&#160; The downside? Nobody is thinking about the information hangover that comes from over-indulgence: what you put on the Internet stays on the internet, forever. And sometimes it shows up on the front page of the Wall Street Journal, in the hands of a prospective employer or your boss&#8217;s inbox. All of the personal information that is being posted on profiles -- names, birthdates, kids&#8217; names, photographs, pet&#8217;s names (and other password reminders), addresses, opinions on your company, your friends and your enemies, all of it serves as a one-stop shop for identity thieves.&#160; It&#8217;s all right there in one neat little package and all a scammer has to do to access it is become your &#34;friend.&#34;Recently my friend, who was an avid Facebook user, gave it up.&#160; He had acquired 2,000 friends and he just couldn&#8217;t manage it anymore.&#160; Of course, I&#8217;m thinking, &#8220;Two thousand friends?&#8221;&#160; How do you come to personally know two thousand people over the course of 40 years on earth?&#160; The answer is easy:&#160; he didn&#8217;t know them all.&#160; People accept &#8220;friend&#8221; invitations all the time from people they don&#8217;t actually know.&#160; Who doesn&#8217;t like people seeking out their friendship? But consider this: there is an increasing likelihood that the &#8220;friends&#8221; you don&#8217;t know might also be con artists who are simply trying to access your information. Every time you allow a stranger into your profile, picture yourself with a morning-after hangover.&#160; Follow the Five Facebook Safety Tips and save yourself the trouble.5 Facebook Safety Tips1.&#160;If they&#8217;re not your friend, don&#8217;t pretend. Don&#8217;t accept friend requests unless you absolutely know who they are and that you would associate with them in person, just like real friends. 2.&#160;Post only what you want made public. Be cautious about the personal information that you post on any social media site, as there is every chance in the world that it will propagate.&#160; It may be fun to think that an old flame can contact you, but now scammers and thieves are clambering to access that personal information as well.3.&#160;Manage your privacy settings.&#160; Sixty percent of social networkers are unaware of their default privacy settings (how Facebook sets them for you). The simple task of setting them to your standards can reduce your risk of identity theft dramatically.&#160; Take a few minutes and lock down your profiles by visiting the privacy tab of your account settings. Understand what part of your profile is visible to friends and non-friends alike. 4.&#160;Keep Google Out. Unless you want all of your personal information indexed by Google and other search engines, restrict your profile so that it is not visible to these data-mining experts. 5.&#160;Don&#8217;t respond to Friends in Distress. If you receive a post requesting money to help a friend out, do the smart thing and call them in person. Friend in Distress schemes are when a thief takes over someone else&#8217;s account and then makes a plea for financial help to all of your friends (who think that the post is coming from you). Following these 5 Facebook Safety tips is a great way to prevent an information-sharing hangover. 
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					  <author>John Sileo</author>
					  <pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:00:00 MDT</pubDate>
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					  <title><![CDATA[Reach for the Stars]]></title>
					  <link>http://www.accomplishlife.com/blogs/153/Reach-for-the-Stars.html</link>
					  <description><![CDATA[

&#8220;Master, what is the answer to finding Inner Peace,&#8221; the student asks the teacher? &#8220;That is for you to find, within,&#8221; the teacher elusively answers. If I had a nickel for the countless times this question has been asked throughout time&#8230; well I don&#8217;t have to tell you that I would give Bill Gates a run for his money. So many of us are looking for what we feel is unattainable, but our answers are right in front of us. 
I read a Hindu book called Self Realization (English translation), and in that book, the most profound statement made was that those who are searching for happiness will never find it, because to be in search of something implies that you will never attain it. It will always leave you searching. One has to remember that everything we are looking for is already there. Attaining it often involves changing a perspective.
So much of my work centers on people wanting to find an inner peace and happiness in an inner world of chaos, and often the beginning of that path is helping them to align four aspects in their life: Hopes, Dreams, Expectations, and Goals. Alignment does not mean that they are in agreement. It means that we examine them and see where our hopes, dreams, expectations and goals may be out of alignment with reality. Let&#8217;s take a look.
Hopes
These are things that we would like to happen in our life, and they become the foundation for dreams expectations and goals. Often when I am working with people, they have lost hope and often feel afraid to have hopes. I believe that the core emotion of depression is hopelessness. Many times in life, we place our hopes in things that don&#8217;t work out, for whatever reason. The fact that they don&#8217;t turn out can feel painful and result in other emotions like failure, fear, shame, and worthlessness &#8211; emotions that are seen as bad, wrong and weak in our culture. 
Hope is the ladder that we build to climb to higher places in life, and feeling the pain of falling down that ladder again and again can often result in a fear of climbing that ladder, yet again. The belief often becomes, &#8220;If I don&#8217;t climb it, I won&#8217;t fall.&#8221; 
The question we must ask ourselves is, &#8220;Are our hopes realistic?&#8221;
Dreams
Dreams are those things that we believe will come true early in life, but often become the things that we feel will never happen, as life goes on. They can feel like the carrot held out in front of our nose that we blindly pursue, not seeing the stick and string that keep it out of reach. 
Dreams can feel inspiring and feel debilitating. They are the things that keep us reaching farther in life, even though we may feel that we may never accomplish some or many of our dreams. Dreams help you reaching for the stars, even though you may land on Uranus. You often forget that you got further than the moon, and with your next leap from Uranus, may land on the comet that may carry you to a distant star. 
We need dreams, and we need to know that some may be unattainable, but they help us to aspire to something further. Would life really feel worth living if all of our dreams came true? 
Are we meant to have dream come true? I think not. To have every dream fulfilled could feel as unfulfilling as never getting anything we dream of. Keep some of your dreams beyond your reach and some within, and try to be aware which group they fall in.
Expectations 
Expectations are more than hopes, yet not quite goals. They are in some ways based in intention and thought. Expectations can be dangerous. If they are too high, we never feel good enough. If expectations are too low, it can lead to arrogance, as well as not being prepared when challenges arise. It is important that expectations be realistic and balanced &#8211; not too high, not too low. 
Expectations can be based in tangible results, and it can be when others set expectations for us that we can begin to doubt ourselves. Expectations can influence hopes and dreams, and if they are unrealistic, they can tear down our ladders of hope.
Goals
Goals are the most tangible of the four. They are what help determine our progress and our paths in life. Without goals, we are but bits of dust floating in the breezes of life. Keep in mind that people who write their goals down are 80% more likely to reach them than those that don&#8217;t. 
Goals help us to organize our thoughts, hopes, dreams and expectations. So many people have great ideas, but when they are not clear on their goals, the best of intentions can helplessly fall to the ground. Trust me, I speak from personal experience. Too many times, people don&#8217;t want to get caught in the details because they can seem less exciting and glamorous, but it is the details that are part of those goals that contribute so much to success.
When setting goals it is important to consider short-term, intermediate and long-term goals. It is also important to consider goals that are global and specific.&#160; Finally, we have to consider goals that are realistic and tangible. Goals can be dreams and hopes, but they will not always be. One has to be careful when they set goals. Like expectations, if they are set to high or too low, it can be unproductive. Sometimes the best thing to do when setting goals is to discuss them with someone you trust and has both wisdom and experience.
The Fuel to Propel You to the Stars
Passion and integrity are the fuel behind your hopes, dreams, goals and expectations. We can look to the best of intentions again, but often without passion that fuels the drive to see things to fruition, we may stop short of our goals and so go our hopes and dreams. Passion may also be considered the glue that holds together your hopes, dreams, goals and expectations. I often tell people that if you just can&#8217;t find your passion behind your goals, it may be time to change course, while other times, it may be time to regroup and start again.
Integrity helps you to evaluate and maintain your alignment when propelling you forward, and makes sure that what you are doing is helping you to reach your goals. Integrity helps you determine if your intentions, hopes, goals, dreams, expectations and behaviors are consistent and support each other. If they do not stand in integrity, they will not withstand the challenges in life that arise when we are working toward our goals and crumble like a tower of children&#8217;s blocks. 
Living the Dream
So, how exactly do you implement this? Let&#8217;s discuss an example. It is my dream to help the world understand the value of emotions and to empower children an adults to realize their gifts and strengths, seeing opportunities instead of obstacles in life. I hope that I will have the opportunity to reach the masses and be in the right position to accomplish this goal. My expectations are that it will take a lot of work to get there as well as some luck and opportunity. My goals have been and are many and varied. I have reached a number of my goals and have others yet to accomplish. I have been doing therapy with children, adults, families and couples, opened and closed a group therapy practice, written books and articles, been interviewed for print, radio and television, volunteer my time to various organizations, have developed proposals for education programs and even an animated series for kids, and other projects&#8230; My continued goals are to become more involved in national media in radio and television and speak nationally and internationally. 
Each thing I do or commit to, I check to see if it aligns with my ultimate dreams and goals. I have followed rabbit holes in my past and learned from them, and I still may follow a few. It is always my passion and integrity that fuel me and help me to rejuvenate and reevaluate my hopes and dreams. I have had to revise my expectations many times, because I often set them to high. While my larger goals have not changed, many sub-goals have been revised as life has evolved. I have had a tendency to be my harshest critic, and while many would believe that what I have done was successful, it has fallen short of my time frames and levels of success. I always have to keep in mind that life is a journey, not a destination. In my past pursuits toward perfection, I also have learned that life is meant to be practiced, not to be perfect. 
Tips to live by&#8230;
There is phrase that I have learned to live by, &#8220;Life is what happens when you are making plans.&#8221; This is one of the most important factors to keep in mind in life. Be careful not to let whether or not you reach your goals determine whether or not you are a success. I remember when having to close my group practice in the 90&#8217;s that I felt like a total failure. It was my Dad that told me how proud he was of me that I tried and went for it. I learned a lot from that experience, and learned that failure tells us when its time to learn. 
Well I also believe that life happens for us, not to us. It was after I did that and revised some goals that I realized that I was still on track for the larger goals. I never thought I would have the time I needed to write books, and it was after this happened that I started my first book. After this experience, I found that I was more on track to reach my goals than before, and a lot less stressed as well. Sometimes when we let go of some of our dreams that we have held on to so tightly, other, greater ones, open up to us. 
I will leave you with this, &#8220;Failure is only an emotion, but it becomes a reality when we quit.&#34; ]]></description>
					  <author>Erik Fisher, PhD.</author>
					  <pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:00:00 MDT</pubDate>
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